Carers UK | #breakIsolation | Online Forum |
Carers spend majority of their time on their caring duties for their loved ones, to the point where they don’t have any time for themselves. Making time to meet up with friends or other family members can become a struggle. You can make plans with your cousin or friend and your loved one has a unsuspected fall, their blood sugar drops, they feel more unwell, you lose track of time, your loved one’s hospital appointment runs longer than expected or you start to get panic attacks/anxiety of the thought of stepping outside.
“Caring for someone with long term or serious health problems can be stressful and cause anxiety for friend and family carers. Many carers notice their caring role has an impact on their mood. Some carers feel low because they rarely see friends anymore. Some carers may worry about what their future or that of the person they are caring for.” – Bromley Working for Wellbeing
The process can be so stressful that by the time you do eventually make it out, you are physically and mentally drained. Then they ask you “what’s wrong?”, “you look tired”. Mostly the reply is “i’m ok thanks, just had a long night”, the thought of explaining what you went through to get there is just too much. The other scenario that can be hurtful is if you do tell them and they just brush it off with an “oh, ok?” or that guilt of telling them you can’t make it at the last minute again.
But if you have understanding people in your circle, you should not feel bad for caring for your loved one. It is hard not to be able to socialise like before but maybe little adjustments can help. For example you can Skype your friend, pick a place not too far from you where you can meet up/ if possible they can come round to yours, or better still arrange a respite care. Also, talk with like minded people (other carers) and get things off your chest and share some advice with one and other;
One of our members, Jess, 60, tells how caring for her 96-year-old mum took such a toll on her life that she felt totally cut off from the outside world… until a post on the online forum changed everything. Read more of this post here. – Carers UK